continuity

Dear Sis,

Christmas is over and I’m settling into my usual schedule and reconnecting with people.  Thank you for the beautiful gift, I will keep it with me always.  I dropped off my Mom at the airport this afternoon, she had a good visit and generally toured the new life I’d told her about.  We ended up watching Molly’s Game in the theater on Christmas day, which I found refreshing.

Everyone says that my life will change for the better very soon, and I can only hope that you will agree.  It’s difficult to know these things and have no sense of continuity, at least it can be.

It’s freezing outside and my mind feels blank.  It’s difficult to find my bearings after this disorienting holiday.  Though I’m happy now that I don’t have a tree to dispose of, and there is a large amount of food in the fridge, which is nothing to complain about.

I hope this finds you well.  Happiest holidays.

Love,

Dana

 

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letters to my sister

Dear Sis,

I am writing to wish you a merry Christmas and to thank you for your support in my move and in finishing school (hopefully soon).  NYC has been good to me and I am beginning to assimilate into the culture here, which surprisingly consists of paying attention to where I’m going, getting up for my subway stop well before the train arrives, and wearing a black coat.  I guess I’ve always been more of an urbanite, so not too much had to change :)

I am ecstatic that you’ve moved on from your abusive relationship and am happy that my experience with such was good for something.  We must always be careful since we are not like other people.  We can put up with a lot, too much I think.

I had been at a loss for what to write here for a long time.  Transition is something I’ve conditioned myself to not talk about, even here.  I only mention it in passing and in confidence, if at all.  So thank you for letting me post here.  I think it’s kind of a natural thing, shifting from the vertigo of gender change to the day-to-day struggles of life.  And maybe I can answer, to my satisfaction, the question I had been searching for – what happens to all of those transition blogs after they go black?  If you’re lucky it seems like there’s nothing to write home about after a certain point.

But I digress.  My mom is coming over for Christmas, so roommate and I are getting ready, saran wrapping windows and buying small housewares.  I’m excited to see her and show her around, it’s been a couple of years since we’ve seen each other though it doesn’t seem that long to me.  Roommate is also on vacation this week and in my hair, though in a good way.  It snowed the other day and I realize I don’t have appropriate snow boots for my outfits, oh well.  I’ll have to drop a line to the Christmas fairy ;)

Love,

Dana