It was surprising, the first time I forgot about my transition. I was out, it was sunny, and I was unaware that I had been a man, or had considered myself one. I forgot about that and was just myself, focused on whatever I was doing.
Then I snapped out of it and thought, ‘this doesn’t seem like such a big deal now.’ Because I knew it was possible to escape this uniquely awkward place, if only for a second.
But it’s still a struggle, it’s a struggle to afford electrolysis and to decide what to spend money on and what to put off. Clothes? Hair removal? Voice lessons? It’s a careful, nervy balance.
My vocal cords are wound more tightly than I am and I’m a clearance sale victim at least one day of the week. Every morning I pluck hair out of my face and carefully, lightly cover it in layers of silicone gel, foundation, and double face powder. How long can I keep doing this?