subjective

I look in the mirror and I feel normal, but I’m ugly, and I need to work on that.  Maybe that’s a normal thought to have…

 

Experiencing estrogen for the first time is difficult to describe.  It’s a subjective experience.

It’s like having your body sense – that intuition of where your limbs are and the position of every joint – become subtle.  And I realized that I had been painfully consciously aware of my body for as long as I can remember.  Now it’s as if someone turned the volume down.

At first it felt like my arms weren’t even there – in a pleasant way.  I was briefly worried about bumping into things, but that didn’t happen.  Then I got used to it, now it feels normal.

At least that’s my experience as someone who’s trans.  And I’m definitely trans, I know this now.  I’m more relieved than angry.  It feels like I have my life ahead of me, which I’ve rarely felt.  It’s nice.

 

I’m starting on spironolactone soon, and I’m afraid to.  Illogical, but true.

 

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