is this ‘monday’

Walking home at dawn after the graveyard shift at some university – with my headphones blasting, carrying my laptop like a schoolbook – is probably not the smartest, safest, or most feminine thing to be doing.  But I’m not there *yet*

Whatever.  I’m exhausted.  I did not think it was possible to be this exhausted.  But it doesn’t matter, I’m excited.  Stuff is getting done and I’m at peace with myself.

 

Strangely, I’m not depressed.  I haven’t been depressed in a month.  That shatters every record, ever.

I feel like I’m going somewhere; being myself.  Even though it’s only apparent to myself, that’s good enough for me.

 

Then my friend from college called me back, the one I told I was transgender and regretted.  He called me!  Everything is completely cool.  And I am so happy about that.

 

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mundanity

Suddenly it seems like not such a big deal, everything.  I’m a trans woman, life goes on.  Some people get it, some don’t.  It really doesn’t matter in the long-run.  There are other things in life than one’s gender and the implications thereof, opinions thereof, actions and words, on and on and on.

When I open my eyes, I see that my situation is routine, uncommon but routine.  And it’s my business to live my life and get on with it.

 

I never knew that cold mundanity could be so breathtaking.  It’s like a miracle or something.