You know you’ve been gone for a long time when your stationary smells like toothpaste. But I’m back home now, surrounded by familiar stuff that I’d forgotten about.
This first week has been weird, in a good way. I feel like my gender-dysphoric issues, things that I awkwardly speak about, are a weight that has been set down. I feel like myself, I like myself, life is fun. I can breathe.
It started when I considered auditioning for The Vagina Monologues, which my department is putting on for V-day. It’s that time of year. The idea of auditioning was in the back of my mind and I mentioned it to Leia, who basically dared me to do it. So I read the book. Surprisingly, I never read The Vagina Monologues. I vaguely remember picking it up and finding it painful to read. But reading it now, I really enjoyed it. There’s even a trans women’s monologue that Eve Ensler added in 2004 (she published the original version in 1998). It’s the only passage I could really relate to or envision performing in front of people, so I prepared to audition for that part.
I was really nervous. So I was greatly relieved and disappointed when I found out that the script, the official 2014 V-day version of The Vagina Monologues, does not include the trans women’s monologue They Beat the Girl out of My Boy… or so They Tried.
Why? I have no idea. I know it’s been performed for V-day before. The passage does seem like an anachronism in a classic work of nonfiction – to tack the contemporary experiences of trans women onto a work that ushered in acceptability of the word vagina.
‘You mean grown-ups couldn’t say vagina either??’
Yet, I couldn’t help feeling left out. Could this just be another instance of transphobia?
Then a couple of days passed and I got over it.